October 12: Jeoffrey

Jeoffrey


I stuff earbuds in my ears and turn on my cheap MP3 player, a Christmas gift from Jamal’s mom last year. I listen to the classics- Tupac, Biggie, Kid ’N Play. They rap about struggles, and even though their struggles were twenty-something years ago, I understand their lyrics, empathize with them. Dominique taps me on the shoulder but I ignore her and press the buds so far into my ears they hurt. I don’t want to talk to anyone this morning, don’t want to hear their stories or invites to some party tonight.
Dominique persists and finally I pull one of the buds away and stare at her. “What, Dominique?”
“Damn, what’s your problem?” She crosses her arms over her chest and rolls her eyes. “I just wanted to know if you were going out tonight. There’s a party over at the Peaks if you wanna go.”
“I can’t,” I mumble and go back to my music. She turns away and huffs, but I don’t care. I’m getting lost in Gang Starr’s Code of the Streets. The lyrics sing my life story and I replay the events of this morning in my head.
Mom had left for the hotel early so I was making bowls of oatmeal for Damien and I. We were running late and I dumped a few spoonfuls of sugar into his bowl and handed it to him. The back bedroom door opened and Damien and I both sucked in a breath.
Cody came down the hallway in his boxers with his hand over her stomach.
“What the fuck is all that noise?” He stares hard at me.
“Sorry, I was making breakfast.” I sat down at the table next to Damien and scooped sugar into my bowl. I knew I wasn’t making a lot of noise; I had been as quiet as possible to avoid waking him up.
“I want this house cleaned up when I get home tonight.” He looked around the living room and kitchen, which were already spotless. “You ain’t going anywhere until this place is clean.”
“I can’t,” I said. “Tonight is our first football game. I’ve got to play.”
He came around the counter and grabbed the back of my neck so hard I saw spots. He squeezed with his fingers as I squirmed in my chair. Damien’s eyes got wide when Cody lowered his face to my ear.
“I know you ain’t talking back to me, boy.” He tightened his grip and pressed my face close to the table. “I said I want my house clean. You like to eat don’t you?”
“Yes,” I replied with no breath.
“Then you’ll do what I say.” He pushed off of my neck before he let go. My teeth bit down on my tongue and I could taste blood. My forehead hit the table and I winced.
Cody stalked back to his room without another word. I sat up and rested my chin in my hands. I took a few bites of the oatmeal, but it was thick and bland. There wasn’t enough sugar in the house to make it taste good.
Damien swirled his spoon around in his bowl and sniffled. I patted the back of his head a couple of times and forced a smile.
“Don’t worry about it,” I told him. “I’m alright.”
“I can clean the house while you get ready for the football game. It don’t matter to me; I can do it.”
I shook my head. “Nah, it’s not worth the risk. What if he came home early. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it.”

Now I sit, my stomach empty and my head blaring. I try to figure out how I’m going to get back to school in time for the game. When we get to school, I still don’t have a plan.
“What’s up with you, man?” Jamal punches me lightly and smiles. “You ain’t said nothing all morning.”
“Just tired,” I mumble.
“Alright. Well I know you don’t really like going out, but it’s about to be the first big party of the year.” He grins from ear to ear. “It’s gonna be a good time, nigga.”
“I’ll see, Jamal.”
He leaves me alone after that, joining the rest of our friends in talk about the party going down tonight. The last thing I need is to get in trouble with the cops, and cops are always at the Peaks.
In homeroom I try to pay attention to the announcements, but my mind is distant. I make it through my classes, but by lunch I am freaking out. I am so hungry that my hands are shaking, so I pile my tray with food and eat it quickly. I ignore my friends and finish quickly so that I can get to the gym before the pep rally.
“Where you going?” Jamal asks when I get up to dump my tray.
“I’ll see ya’ll after school,” I mumble.
I walk through the gym to make sure they have blocked off the bleachers for the band. Sometimes they forget and it really pisses Mr. East off. I see the cheerleaders warming up. Sam is leading their stretches and a few seconds later they all stand up and start talking. A thought clicks in my head and I walk over to Sam, who is typing away on her cell phone.
Hesitation comes over me, but I realize that I don’t have much time left to figure out a plan. I can’t miss the game and I can’t ignore Cody’s demands.
“Hey Sam,” I say before I let doubt get the best of me.
She looks up from her phone and smiles. “Hey Jeoff!” She wraps her arms around me and squeezes. “What’s up? You excited about the game tonight?”
“Oh yeah,” I say. “I’m a little worried, though. I’ve got to go home for a doctor’s appointment and I don’t know if my mom is going to be able to bring me back in time for the game. So I’m screwed, I guess.”
“That sucks.” She tucks her phone in her bra and sighs. “Well I could pick you up.”
My face lights up and I thank God that she caught on. “Are you sure? I mean I know you have practice and everything. I don’t want to be a hassle.”
“Are you kidding?” She pats my arm. “That’s what friends are for. Where should I pick you up?”
I consider telling her to pick me up at my house. Iknow she wouldn’t care where I live. But my neighborhood is no place for a pretty white girl to be driving around in some luxury car.
“The health clinic on Twenty-Third?” I figure I can clean the house and get to the clinic in time. “My appointment is at four-thirty, so I should be done by five if they are on time.”
“Sounds good.” She nods. “I’ll be out there at five. I don’t have to be here until six, so it’s no big deal.”
“Thanks so much, Sam.”
“No problem!” She pats my arm again and smiles. “I’ve got to go find Anderson. I’ll see you tonight.”
A little bit of weight is lifted off of my shoulders, but my neck still hurts and I mentally thank Samantha a hundred more times before I get to the band room. The bell rings and the band kids trail in one by one. They get out their instruments and music while I polish my drum.
“Guys, everybody get in your seats.” Ruby stands up on the podium and everyone hurries to their seats. I strap on my drum and click the sticks against the rim to warm up.
Ruby goes over the music for the pep rally. I’ve already got all of it memorized so I don’t bother with music.
“Alright,” Ruby lifts her arms, “let’s warm up and then we are going to head into the gym.” After we’ve warmed up, she puts her hands on her hips.
“Okay get your music and let’s go. Just because this is a pep rally doesn’t mean we don’t play with a good, strong sound. Does everyone understand?”
“Yeah,” we all mutter and follow her outside towards the gym. Pep rallies are the least exciting performances. Nobody pays attention to us and we play lame music.
The band piles into the bleachers and I stand at the bottom with my drum strapped on.
“Get up Go Big Red,” Ruby tells us. Once people start coming into the gym, we play. We play Go Big Red so many times that I almost fall asleep. Finally Ruby stops us and hurries to the center of the gym.
After several games and pep tunes are played, the cheerleaders do their routine. Sam tells us to put our hands together for her and the squad and everyone claps. I roll on my drum a little bit before taking it off. The girls dance and the crowd goes crazy at their stunts. I thank Sam again before they run off the court. Finally the football team comes out. Ruby introduces them after we play another song and they rush out like a herd of elephants. They whoop and holler and the crowd does the same.
After a long speech from Coach Barnes, Anderson takes the microphone. Everyone quiets down to hear what he has to say.
“We want to thank everyone for the support. I love seeing all of the red and white out there and I hope to see more of it tonight. Go crazy. I want to see body paint, pompoms, all of it.”
The crowd goes crazy and he calms them back down.“This is my last first game here at Five Points. I’ve thrown a lot of footballs. I can promise you that this is the best team of the best guys I have ever played with. We are going all the way this year. Everyone come out tonight and support us. We love you guys. Go Boomers!”
The crowd cheers and the football team closes in, feeding off of the energy. Confetti flies around the room and the cheerleaders shake their pompoms like they are on crack. I tap the band off for Go Big Red once the music track is finished and everyone leaves the bleachers. Some of them crowd around the football team and cheerleaders, others sneak off to have a cigarette while there are no teachers around. I follow the band kids to our room so I can put my drum up before the bell rings.
“Hey Jeoff,” Seth calls. “You wanna go to Burger King with us?”
I set my drum on the shelf and grab my book bag.
“Can’t,” I say. “I have a doctor’s appointment.”
“Alright,” Seth nods. “Maybe next time.”
“Yeah.” I hurry out of the band room and towards the bus parking lot.
“Hey Jeoff!” I hear someone behind me. It’s Gabe DeCarteret. He hurries to catch up to me and smiles.
“What’s up?”
“Not much, man.” I look around quickly to make sure none of my friends are around. They would tear Gabe apart if they saw him talking to me.
“Misses Mashburn wanted me to ask if you were going to be playing in the spring musical. I know it’s a few months away, but she wanted to start as soon as we get back from Christmas break.”
“Yeah,” I mumble. “Yeah, I’m gonna do it.”
“Awesome.” He is so cheerful and energetic. I wonder what his secret is. “Can you talk to some of the other band kids and try to get a small ensemble together? We don’t want to have to pay a band.”
“Sure.” I see Jamal and Delante approaching. “I’ve got to get to the bus, but I’ll let you know what I find out.”
“Thanks Jeoff!” Gabe pats my shoulder and turns away. “Good luck at the game tonight,” he calls over his shoulder.
I hurry to the bus before Jamal and Delante can see me. They get on a few seconds later with Keyan and Dominique.
“What’s up niggas?” Keyan shakes all of our hands and sits in the seat in front of me. That was the seat Janey sat in on the first day; she hasn’t rode since. I guess they scared her off.
“Ya’ll coming to the game tonight?” I ask.
A few of them laugh. “Yeah, we’ll be there for a while. Then we’re going to the Peaks.” Jamal types on his cell phone.
“Better make sure ya’ll stay until halftime, fools.” I throw a fake punch towards him and he dodges.
“So we can see that whack ass band?” Keyan sits up on his knees, ignoring the driver’s yells. “Tell them to play some good music and I will.”
“For real,” Delante agrees. “Get some Weezy in there and I’ll come.”
“Whatever,” I mumble.
“What you doing here anyways?” Dominique asks “Don’t you got practice or something?”
“I gotta clean the house first. I’ll be over there later.”
“Alright,” Jamal says, “well we might stay for halftime. If we are winning we will stay, okay?”
“Okay.”

I wait at the corner for Damien’s bus. Of course the driver picks today to be running late. Finally the bus pulls up and Damien and I hurry to the house. Cody isn’t there and we both breathe easy.
“I’ll take living room and kitchen,” I say. “You take the bathrooms.”
“Okay.” He hurries into our bathroom without a fuss.
When I am done vacuuming and dusting, he comes out into the living room and wipes his hands over his jeans.
“I want to come to the game.”
I look up at him. “I want you to come. Maybe Mama will be home early enough and she can take you.”
“She ain’t got no money.”
I reach into my pocket and pull out a five dollar bill. “Here, take this. If she gets home in time, tell her to drive you over there. She can pick you up when she gets me.”
“Alright.”
We finish cleaning and I have just enough time to take a shower. When I get out, Damien is watching TV in the living room.
“There’s leftover spaghetti in the fridge if you get hungry,” I tell him. “Make sure you ask Mama to bring you to the game.”
“Okay,” he says.
I make a peanut butter sandwich and shove it in my mouth before making the run to the clinic. It is several blocks away and I don’t have much time. I use my basketball legs and run in long strides. I pass the crack heads and the baby mamas and keep running, allowing them to blur together into an imaginary world.
When I get to the clinic, Sam still isn’t there. I sit down on the sidewalk and suck in as much air as I can. A few minutes later, Sam pulls up and I am hungry again.
“Hey Jeoff,” she calls from the car and waves.
I get in the car and sit up straight; I don’t want my sweat to ruin the perfect interior. The air conditioning is cool and I sigh. She whips out of the parking lot and eventually I lean back.
“Everything okay?”
I look at her and remember that I was supposed to be at the doctor. “Oh yeah, everything is fine. I just had to get a physical. Basketball, you know.”
“Right,” she says. We ride through the worst streets of Chicago, and she doesn’t even seem to notice the looks and stares from the gangsters outside.
“I’m starving. I think I’m gonna stop at Sonic.” She fumbles for her wallet.
“Okay.”My stomach growls.
When we get to Sonic, she pulls up to the drive-thru menu. She orders mozzerella sticks and a cherry limeade.
“Do you want anything?” She looks at me.
My stomach tightens as I shake my head. “I forgot my wallet at home,” I lie.
“Well you can’t go all night without eating.” She rolls her eyes playfully. “What do you want? I’ll get it for you.”
“You really don’t have to do that,” I insist. “I’m fine.”
“Jeoff,” she stares at me, “shut up.”
“Number seven.” I smile. “Coke.”
“Can I also get a large number seven with a coke?” She calls into the speaker.
“Boys are so difficult,” she mutters and pulls up to the window.
When we get our food, she pulls around and I see Ruby sitting with some of her friends at one of the round red tables. I turn the other way and hope that she doesn’t see me.
“Eat up,” Sam says and hands me my Coke.
I finish the food before we get to school. She gives me her last two mozzerella sticks and I savor each bite. I can’t even remember the last time I ate out. She talks about cheerleading and her work at a soup kitchen. I talk about basketball, but mostly listen to her. When we get to school, she parks her BMW close to the front.
“Thanks for the ride, Sam.” I get out of the car.
She opens the trunk and pulls out a bag. “Anytime,” she says with a smile. “Good luck out there tonight.”
“Yeah, you too.”
I hurry to the band room and change into my uniform.
“You’re late, Jeoff.” Mister East walks past me.
“Sorry, Sir.” I pull my pants up and tighten the suspenders.
He keeps walking and I put my harness on over my head. Max zips my jacket up and I put my drum on. Ruby comes in a few minutes later. She looks like some sort of circus freak; I guess that’s what Mr. East was going for.
I wipe a cloth over my shoes while Mr. East gives us a pep talk. “You guys are going to be great. You’re ready for this,” he says.
Ruby warms us up and then gives us a nice speech too. She’s a great speaker and gets us pumped for the game. We march down to the stadium while I cadence. By the time we perform the pregame show, most of the stands are full. Everyone on this side of town is here for the first game of the season.
After prayer and the fight song, we march off of the field. The football team has flooded the field and we pile into the stands while the game starts. I peel my jacket off and wipe my face. I search the stands to see if my mom and brother made it, but I don’t see them anywhere.
When we perform our halftime show, there is a good crowd that sticks around. I see my friends standing around at the top of the bleachers. They aren’t really paying attention, but at least they are here. They clap half-heartedly when the rest of the audience does. We finish strong though, and I couldn’t be more proud of our performance.
“Great run,” Mr. East says once we are off the field. He pats me on the back and smiles. “Great run.”
We win the game by thirteen points. It was tough but Anderson and the rest of the team played hard. The crowd goes crazy as we play the alma mater and the team collects in front of us. Once we are done, the team runs to the field house and we march up to the band room.
I take off my uniform and hang it up in the uniform room. I wipe down my drum as quickly as I can, knowing my mom is probably outside waiting for me. Ruby grabs my arm when I walk past her with my drum.
“What about you Jeoff?” She smiles. “You want to go to Denny’s?”
It’s a tradition for all of the band kids to go to Denny’s after a home game. They always invite me, and I always decline. As much as I would like to go, I have no money, no ride, and no intentions of getting either from someone else.
“Nah, I can’t. I’ve got to go home.” I push my drum onto the shelf.
She nods and I know she already knew my anser. “Okay, maybe next time.” They always say that.
“Yeah, maybe.”
A few minutes later, they all hurry off together to go eat and have fun. I trail behind them with my bags and search the parking lot for my mom’s car. I find her right outside the band room leaned against her car, smoking a cigarette. She doesn’t do that very often.
“Where’s Damien?” I ask.
“He didn’t come.” She puts the cigarette out and gets in the car.
“Why not? I gave him money.”
“I know,” she syas and starts the car. “Cody wouldn’t let him go. He forgot to take out the trash in the kitchen.”
“Shit,” I mumble. “That was my fault, Mama. Damien cleaned the bathrooms. I just forgot because I was in such a hurry.”
“Well, he grounded Damien.” She stares ahead.
“I’ll fix that,” I assure her.
She shakes her head. “Don’t start anything. Please, Jeoffrey.”
We sit in silence for the rest of the ride. She doesn’t ask about the game.

When we get home, Cody is drinking a beer in the living room. Damien is in our room listening to the radio. He’s stretched out on his bed and doesn’t say anything when I walk in.
“I’m sorry, bro.” I throw my bags down. “I forgot to take out the trash.”
“It’s okay.” He shrugs.
“No it’s not.” I change my clothes and sit on his bed. “I’m gonna go tell Cody it was me. I’m sorry you couldn’t come to the game.”
“How was it?” He sits up a little bit.
“We won.”
“How did you guys do?”
“Great,” I say and smile. “Wish you could’ve seen it.”
“Me too.”
I pat his leg and take a deep breath. I go out into the living room where Cody is still sitting.
“Cody, it was me that forgot to take out the trash. Damien cleaned the bathrooms; I was in charge of the kitchen.”
“That’s not what I heard.” He doesn’t look up from the television.
“It’s the truth. Don’t punish Damien.”
He stands up quickly. “Are you gonna tell me what to do?”
“Cody, you’re drunk.” I back away from him. “I’m just telling you what happened. If you want to punish someone, punish me.”
He grabs my arm and twists it behind my back. “You gonna tell me how to run my house?” He pushes me against the wall.
Mama comes out into the hallway and screams. “Cody, stop it!”
He pushes her away and turns back to me. He pulls my arm so hard that I think my shoulder must be dislocated. I crash down onto the ground and he is on top of me before I can blink.
“Cody, please!” Mama yells and pulls on his shirt. “Leave him alone!”
“You ain’t gonna tell me what to do!” Cody slams his fist into my chest. “You wanna be punished? I’ll punish you!”
He beats his fists onto my chest and face like a bass drum. My ear drums ring and my brain rattles in my head as he knocks my face back and forth. It becomes a horrible cacophony: the thuds of Cody’s fists against my hollow body, Mama’s high-pitched cries, Cody’s low and hungry growl.
Finally he finishes and climbs off of me. Mama covers me with her body and weeps. Cody sits back down at the couch and takes a long drink from his beer.
“Damien’s still grounded.”
Mama cries and rubs my bruised face. Finally I move out from under her and limp to my room. Damien is crying into his pillow.
“I’m sorry, Jeoff.” He looks up at me. “I’m sorry.”
Mama’s cries mingle with his and I lay in bed. I shut my eyes and try to go to sleep but every part of me hurts. I lay awake for most of the night, even after Mama and Damien fall asleep. Cody stumbles to bed sometime and I hold my breath while he walks down the hall. Ideas run through my head. I try to decide how I’m going to get rid of Cody. But maybe Cody isn’t the problem; I think it’s bigger than that. I have to get away from this place, and fast. It is killing me. Every day I die a little more.
I vow to do whatever it takes to get out of here.