November 17: Alexander

“What are you doing here, Frosh?”
It isn’t the first time I have heard that tonight. I turn around and see Anderson standing behind me with James and Ethan. He takes a long drink from his beer.
“I was invited.”
“Oh yeah?” James laughs. “Who the hell would invite you?”
“I did.” Riley walks up behind them with his hands stuffed in his pockets. His clenches his jaw. “Anybody got a problem with that?”
Anderson chuckles. “No problem, bro. We were just giving the kid a hard time.”
Riley nods. “Yeah. Don’t you boys have something better to do than pick on the kid who busted his ass for you this weekend?”
Anderson crushes his beer can in his hand and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.” He turns back to me. “Have fun, Frosh.”
He and the guys go out onto the deck to get in line for beer pong. Riley stands next to me in the crowded kitchen and hands me a flask.
“Thanks, man.” I take the flask from him.
“Don’t worry about it.”
The liquor in the flask burns all the way down. I am not an experienced drinker by any means. I have a feeling Riley knew that before he offered me his favorite whiskey. He laughs at my face as I force the hot liquid down and go for another swig.
“Easy, kid.” He takes the flask and tilts it back in his mouth. “Whiskey is a lot like people. If you take it too fast, it could kill you. Drink it slow, and it will taste a little sweeter.”
“People are like that?” I ask him.
“Take that asshole, Anderson, for example.” He points outside towards the jocks. “If I would have come up to him and started threatening him, we would have fought. He would have tested me, and he would have lost.”
“Naturally,” I say.
“But since I went up to him and kept my cool, he didn’t know how to handle it. So he kept his cool, too. You’ve got to know when to roll with the punches and when to punch back. Understand?”
“Kind of.”
He laughs. “I’m tipsy, kid. Don’t listen to anything I say.”
“No, I understand,” I assure him.
“And always look a man dead in his eyes.” He stares hard at me. “If you can do that, it really freaks them out.”
I nod. “I can do that.”
“Good.” He pats me on the back and hands me the flask again. When I drink it slower, it makes Riley happy. “That’s good. Where is your sister?”
I shoot him a look.
“Sorry.” He puts his hands up. “My bad. Where is that evil girl you’re living with?”
I shrug. “I don’t know where Evelyn is.”
“I better go find her.” He stumbles a few feet before turning back to me. “I left a case of beer under the porch if you get thirsty.”
“Thanks.”
He leaves and I am left in the corner of the kitchen. I do not really know why I showed up tonight. I guess I decided it was better than sitting on the couch watching TV with my dad. I had been sitting in my room doing homework when Riley knocked on the door.
“Hey kid,” he’d said. “What are you doing tonight?”
I shrugged. “Nothing.”
“It’s Saturday night.” Riley rolls his eyes. “And your boys just won the playoffs. Shouldn’t you be celebrating?”
“I didn’t do anything,” I insisted. “Just kept the bottles refilled and washed the towels. That’s my job, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.” Riley shrugged. “Just think about how shitty they would have played without all that water you gave them.”
“Maybe,” I mumbled.
“Let’s go, Riley.” Evelyn wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him out of the doorway. “The party is waiting.”
“Why don’t you come with us?” Riley ignored Evelyn and turned back to me.
“I couldn’t.” I shook my head. “I mean, I can’t. I’m not dressed and I don’t really have anyone who wants me to-“
“We’ll meet you at the car in five minutes.” Riley smiled and closed the door.
“What the hell are you doing?” I had heard Evelyn say as they walked down the hallway. Riley never answered.
Evelyn had been silent for the entire drive to Brian’s house. She was pissed, but Riley did not seem to care, and neither did I. When we got out of the car, Evelyn slammed her door and turned to me.
“Stay away from me,” she warned.
And that was exactly what I intended to do.

“Alex, right?” Brian comes up to me a few minutes after Riley leaves. “What’s up, man?”
I shake his hand. “Nothing much. Great party.”
“Thanks,” Brian nods. “That’s why you’re standing in the corner?”
I stumble over my words and feel my face flush. “I just-”
“You need to loosen up,” he tells me. He hands me a plastic red cup full of beer. “Here. Take this. Most people pay two bucks for a cup, but you can have it free of charge.”
“Thanks, man.” I take the cup and push down a long gulp of the beer. It is cool and bitter compared to the spicy hot whiskey I just drank.
“Pretty good, right?” He pats me on the shoulder. “Now, go have some fun. Get out of this corner.”
I smile and raise my glass to him. “Alright.”
I am stupid for coming here. No one wants me here; Riley only invited me out of pity. I am just as invisible here as I am at school. Something has got to change.

The party is like nothing I have ever experienced before. I had heard about wild parties in Virginia from my older cousins, but nothing like this. Brian’s house is literally the biggest house I have ever seen. It has four floors, and it seems as though every one of them may be occupied by the entire student population of Five Points. I recognize guys from the football team, cheerleaders, and people from my classes. But most of the people here are not freshmen. I guess I am one of the privileged few.
Even Ruby St. Clair is here. She has broken down her good girl walls and walks around the party in a short red dress. I can tell she feels completely out of place, like me.
“Hey, Ruby.” I pass her and she turns and smiles.
“Alex, hey.” She looks at the beer in my hand and scowls. “Looks like the football team is breaking you in just right.”
With that, she walks away. I take another drink of the beer. Riley’s whiskey was very strong. I can feel it warming up my body and kindling a fire in my head. I find my way to the front door and venture outside to cool off. Several people are standing around on the porch so I make my way to the side of the house. None of them stop me to talk to them.
Someone is leaning against the side of the house. By the shadow, I can tell it is a girl. She is alone. I walk a little closer and recognize her as a girl from my class.
“Janey?”
Her head shoots up from her cellphone. “Hey, Alex.”
“What are you doing here?” I take a few steps closer to her.
She shrugs. “Being hopeless.” She lifts a clear bottle to her mouth and guzzles whatever liquor is inside of it.
“Whoa, slow down.” I take the bottle from her. Smirnoff vodka. I put the bottle on the ground and lean next to her against the house. “Why are you hopeless?”
She sighs. We have spoken a lot more lately since I started helping her with geometry. She clearly has a lot of issues. It is not just an image for that girl. Something is really wrong with her. And I have yet to figure out what it is.
“I’m in love with the host.”
“Brian?” I stifle a laugh. “Seriously?”
She groans and picks the bottle of vodka up. “I know it’s stupid. He’s a senior. I’m just a stupid sophomore. But he invited me tonight, and I thought…”
“You thought maybe he invited you as more than a friend?” She offers me the bottle and I take a swig from it. The vodka burns, but not as bad as the whisky.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I just thought maybe if I showed up tonight and got myself wasted, I could tell him how I feel.”
“But are you sure you really love the guy?” I take another swig from the bottle. “I mean, that’s a pretty strong word.”
“I know,” she mumbles. “But he’s so cool. He’s dark and twisted, I can tell. He acts like everything is okay, but I know it’s not. If everything was okay, he wouldn’t need the drugs. I just want to know him. I want to get inside of his head.”
“I see.”
“I dragged my friends here. They left after fifteen minutes. They were bitching at me and I told them they could leave. They’d rather get stoned at Cordelia’s place and chill out.”
“And you wouldn’t?” I ask her.
“I don’t know.” She sighs. “Brian invited me. I wanted to be here because he told me he wanted me to be here. And now I just feel stupid. Like the rest of the stupid girls in that house.”
“Why is that?”
She shrugs. “Because I thought that it was possible for a guy to like me. I thought that maybe I might have something to offer them.”
“And now you don’t?”
“I have nothing.” Tears stream down her cheeks in thick black lines. “Guys don’t want me. I’m ugly, and I’m stupid.”
“Don’t say that, Janey.” I put my hand on her shoulder.
“It’s true. You see it in geometry every day.” She takes a drink from the liquor bottle. “I’m stupid in math class and I’m stupid for thinking that some cool guy could actually like me. I suck.”
“Everyone isn’t meant for everyone,” I tell her. “Sometimes we like people, and they like other people. But the people they like probably like someone else. It’s a never-ending cycle. So you don’t suck. You’re normal.”
“Normal,” she sneers. “What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know,” I admit.
She laughs and takes a long drink from the vodka bottle. “Normal doesn’t exist. Those people in that house think they’re normal. But they’re not.”
“I know.”
“I’m a total freak, aren’t I?” She lights a cigarette. “You think I’m crazy.”
I shake my head. “Not crazy.”
“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” She blows a slow trail of smoke out of her mouth.
“I think there is something wrong with all of us.”

Janey and I finish the bottle of vodka and I help her stumble to the front of the house. She says she will find a ride, but I am not so sure there is someone here who would be willing to take her.
“I’ll be fine,” she assures me while she trips up the stairs.
“Hey kid,” someone says behind me.
I turn around and see Manny Aviles standing behind me on the sidewalk. Four of his friends stand behind him in big coats and baggy jeans. They each have a black and gold hat on. The taste in my mouth goes sour, even more so than it was before.
I swallow hard and remember Riley’s advice. I look him dead in the eye. “What’s up?”
“Where is Riley Sutton?” Manny stares me down.
“I don’t know,” I stutter.
He licks his lips. “But he’s here?”
“Yeah.” I nod my head but immediately regret my response. If Manny is looking for Riley, it cannot possibly be for any good reason. I know for a fact that Riley hates the guy. I also know that Manny hates everyone.
“Good,” he sneers. He pushes past me and his friends follow me.
The people on the porch seem just as shocked as I am. They turn to each other and whisper, back away from the gang as they step onto the porch and into the house.
“What are they doing here?” A guy asks his friend.
“I don’t know,” the friend says. “But whatever it is, it can’t be good.”
“Let’s get out of here.” A girl pulls on her boyfriend’s arm and they hurry down the steps and away from the house.
“Trouble,” Janey mumbles.
I decide that I need to go inside and find Riley. If Manny is looking for him, Riley is going to need a heads up.
“I’ll be right back.” I put my hand on Janey’s back. “You sit out here and wait for me. I’ll be back.”
I hurry into the house and push through the crowd of people in the foyer. Everyone seems to be cramming towards the living room. I see with a few guys from the basketball team pushing towards the doorway.
“Jeoff, have you seen Riley?” I ask him.
He points towards the stairway. “I saw him go upstairs about an hour ago. Look kid, things are about to get real in here. Do you need a ride home?”
“What do you mean?”
But Jeoff doesn’t have time to answer. Someone does it for him. The music cuts out and something shatters in the distance. A voice echoes through the living room, out into the foyer, and up into the incredibly high ceiling.
“Fight!”