November 17: Ruby

This is bad. I should not be here. I am breaking at least five rules; and that constitutes months of grounding if my parents were to find out. The real trouble with breaking the rules is that it is invigorating. It makes you feel alive to know you’re doing something you should not be. The idea of getting caught makes adrenaline shoot through your veins at warp speed. At the same time, knowing that everything you have worked for could be crushed in an instant is terrifying. God help me if my parents find out.
I remember when Brian asked me. I remember exactly what he was wearing, how he had his hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. I remember that his fingernails were dirty and his chin was scruffy, but his eyes were just the same.
“You’ll be there, right Ruby?” He had asked me.
I was standing next to Anderson Wednesday morning while he and Brian talked about the party Saturday night. His dad was going out of town on business, and he wanted to throw the party to celebrate the first playoff game Saturday.
“What?” I asked him, shocked that he was speaking to me.
“The party,” Brian explained. “It will be a real good time. You should come, relax for a little bit.”
“Ruby doesn’t ever relax,” Anderson joked. He put his arm around me. “But it’s definitely going to be the party of the year. You need to come out, Miss President.”
I was too shocked by the fact that Anderson and Brian were even getting along, let alone talking, to say anything for a minute. I stood there in the parking lot with them and considered it. A party. Drinking. Probably drugs. Possibly sex. Dancing. Fun? I have not been to a single party since I started high school. I never had time for them. And my parents would never allow it. I am a good girl. I have to be good.
Good girls do not go to parties.
So when the words spilled out of my mouth, I nearly choked trying to force them back in. “Sure,” I had told him. Sure I would be there. Sure I would go to a party that my ex-boyfriend was hosting that was sure to include everything my parents had sheltered me from for the last seventeen years. Sure.
Now I sit outside of the house with Arianna, who is beyond excited. She has never been to a party either. And although my parents would ground me for a lifetime if they found out, she would probably get by with a month or two.
“I don’t know about this,” I tell her.
“Don’t be a baby!” She slams her hands on the dashboard. “Ruby, you are the student body president. You run the entire school. This is the party of the century. It’s only natural for you to be there.”
“People don’t expect me to be here.” I grip the steering wheel and consider starting the car. “We could turn around right now; nobody would ever know.”
“Ruby Saint Clair, we are not leaving.” She opens the sun visor above her and stares at herself in the small mirror. “Not until at least one, anyway.”
“One in the morning?” My eyes grow wide. “You’re crazy. Your parents would die.” Arianna had convinced me that I should tell my parents I was sleeping over at her place for the night. They bought it, and her parents believed us when we said we were going to Elle’s house for games and movies.
I’m already weaving myself a web of lies. This is why honesty is the best policy. It is nearly impossible to keep up with so many lies, so many excuses. And right now I would much rather be sitting in Elle’s living room with her and Skylar, playing charades and drinking root beer.
“My parents will be sound asleep.” Arianna pulls on my hair. “Ruby, relax. It’s a party, not a brothel. We’ve worked hard all semester. We deserve a break, don’t you think?”
“What the hell is a break?” I ask her.
“Exactly.” She takes her seatbelt off. “Which is why you’re going to reapply your lip gloss, and get your ass out of the car.”
I know she is serious. And I already drove the familiar route to Brian’s house. I may as well get out and see what all the fuss is about. After all, it is just a party.
“You’re right.” I take my seat belt off and open the door. “How crazy can it be?”
Crazy is an understatement. The Boomers won their first playoff game last night. When everyone said this was going to be the best party of the year, I have a feeling they were not exaggerating. Although I have never been to any of the other ones to make a fair comparison, I am sure this is the biggest function Five Points has ever put on. And I still cannot believe it is Brian who is throwing this monster.
Music is blasting through the house. Around the neighborhood, lights are off in every other house. I pray that all of Brian’s neighbors happen to be out of town this weekend because the music is echoing down the street. From the outside, it looks like every light in the house is on. My car is parked around the corner behind a long line of other cars. Arianna and I hurry down the sidewalk in heels and dresses.
She had insisted that I wear something sexy. Dressed in one of her short red dresses, I have to admit that I feel pretty hot. My hair tumbles over my shoulder in its natural curls. Arianna put makeup on my face and forced me into a pair of heels. My feet are already killing me.
“Oh my God,” she mumbles when we finally get to the house.
Even God couldn’t have created something this massive. Brian’s house is huge, but it is not big enough to hold all of the people who showed up tonight. There are people outside on his perfectly manicured lawn, hanging out on the porch and second floor balcony, and stuffing themselves into his house.
“Are we sure about this, A?” I look at her.
“Now or never,” she insists. “And I’m choosing now.”
I follow her up the sidewalk. I cannot even get to the porch before people notice me and huddle around me.
“Ruby, what are you doing here?” James from the football team puts his arm around me. He stands with Ivy and Reece from the cheerleading squad.
“I was told this was the place to be tonight,” I tell him.
“It definitely is.” Ivy sizes me up and smiles. I guess she is pleased with my outfit. “I never expected to see you here!” She hugs me a little too tightly.
“Yeah, me either.” I pat her bare back and pull away. “I’ll see you guys around.”
People call out to me from all around.
“Hey Ruby!”
“Ruby, you made it!”
“Oh my God, what are you doing here?”
Fifteen minutes of squeals and cigarette scented hugs later, I make it into the house. People are packed in the foyer like sardines. Ariana grabs my hand and pulls me with her into the kitchen. Through the glass door, I see people playing beer pong and hanging out on the back porch. Several people stand around in the kitchen talking and making drinks.
“Ruby!” Crash comes up to me with a beer in his hand. “What in the hell are you doing here? Did you get lost?”
“Very funny, Crash.” I roll my eyes. “Even the president likes to let loose sometimes.”
“I like that.” He sips his beer and sticks his tongue out. “This stuff sucks. You want some?”
“No thanks,” I refuse. “We’ll see you later.”
My throat is already hurting from having to yell over the music. In the living room, people are grinding and dancing on each other to the heavy bass. The large room that was once fancy and covered in white furniture is now dark, with the exception of a strobe light that shoots out quick, bright rays.
“This is crazy!” Arianna yells in my ear.
A hand rests on my shoulder and I turn around. It is Brian. He looks great, clean. His shirt is unbuttoned at the top and his hair hangs just above his shoulders. I guess he got a haircut.
“You made it,” he says.
“Yeah, I did.”
Arianna smiles at me. “I’m going to go… do something.” With that, she leaves me standing in the crowded foyer with Brian.
“I’m really glad you came,” he tells me.
“Thanks. I wasn’t expecting anything this… insane.”
He takes a drink from his plastic cup and nods. “Yeah, word really got around fast. I don’t even want to think about having to clean this place up tomorrow.”
I laugh. “Yeah, good luck with those carpets.”
He looks me up and down. I admit I am checking him out too, but it is hard for me to stand in front of the guy that I thought I loved. A guy who was amazing, until that place got the best of him.
“Look, thanks for coming.” He puts his hand on my elbow. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I say. And I do not know what else to say.
“Brian,” someone pops the bubble we have put ourselves in. “We need another keg, dude. And more ping pong balls.”
“Got it.” Brian nods. “I’ll see you later, Rubes.”
“Bye.”
He walks away and leaves me in the foyer with a bunch of people who are making out with each other. I make my way through the different rooms looking for Arianna. It seems like she disappeared.
“Ruby!” Someone calls behind me.
I turn around and see Anderson. “Hey!”
“You came.” He wraps his arms around me in a big hug. “What did I tell you? This shit is ridiculous, right?”
“Yes it is.” I nod. “Congratulations on the big win, by the way. I knew you guys could do it, Captain.”
He shrugs. “What can I say? I do what I can.”
“Well, you’re a rock star,” I tell him. “I would expect nothing less.”
“Have you seen Sam anywhere?” He takes a sip from his drink. “I can’t find her.”
“Good luck,” I say. “I’m looking for Ariana. It’s impossible to find anyone in this madhouse. I’ll let her know you’re looking for her if I see her.”
“Thanks.” He smiles. “Well just do me one favor, will you?”
“What?”
“Have fun tonight.” He touches my face. “I’m serious, Ruby. Just let go for a few minutes and let yourself have a good time. Can you do that?”
“I will,” I promise him.

I finally find Arianna outside talking to a guy in the corner of the deck. She is downing something pink in her cup like it is lemonade. And I’m pretty sure it is not lemonade.
“This is Ben,” she tells me. “Ben is on the soccer team. He plays soccer.” Her words are slurred and I know she has been drinking.
“Hi, Ben from the soccer team.” I grab Arianna’s arm and pull her to the other side of the deck.
“Are you crazy?”
She pulls away from me. “What?”
“We had an agreement, A. No drinking, remember?”
She rolls her eyes. “Lighten up, Ruby. We also agreed to have fun, remember? So that’s what I’m doing. I’m having fun. And you need to do the same.”
“You’re being stupid,” I tell her.
“I’m just trying to have a good time.” She crosses her arm. “Ben is waiting for me. I’ll see you after the party.”
She walks away and I hurry back into the kitchen before anyone sees the tears welling up in my eyes. I practically break my ankles in Arianna’s stupid heels trying to make my way through the kitchen. I do not believe that things could get much worse.
Until I am covered in a sticky red drink. I look up at the boy standing in front of me. He is tall, with honey-colored hair and eyes that are almost gray. I recognize him from the soccer team and immediately want to punch him because that means he is probably friends with that idiot who is trying to sleep with my best friend outside.
“I am so sorry,” he says.
“Don’t worry about it.” I try not to pay attention to the people staring at us.
“No, please let me help you.” He grabs a roll of paper towels from the counter and pulls several off of it. “I’m such an idiot.”
“It’s okay.” I push his hands away before he puts them on my chest. “Really. Don’t worry about it.”
“At least let me make you a drink,” he offers and opens the refrigerator.
“That’s alright.” I wipe a few paper towels over my dress. “I don’t want anything.”
“One drink,” he insists.
“I don’t drink.” I throw the wet paper towels on the floor.
“Oh.” He scowls. “Then what are you doing here?”
The question catches me off guard, although it is the same one I have been asking myself since I got out of the car. I set the roll of paper towels on the counter and stare at him.
“I was wondering the same thing.”
I leave him standing there and hurry upstairs. Luckily I have been to Brian’s house several times, so I know my way around. Upstairs is a little quieter, with the exception of the sounds of giggles and unzipping pants in some of the bedrooms. I make my way to Brian’s room.
In the room, I hear heavy breathing and people moving around on the bed. I tiptoe across the room towards the bathroom.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “I’m sorry.”
When I open the bathroom door, I’m not expecting anyone to be in there. So when I see Gabe sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, I do not know what to say.
“I thought I locked that.” He squints his eyes and looks up at me. “Hey, Ruby.”
“Gabe.” I sigh and close the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Puking up my guts and my dreams and all of the pointless shit that never really mattered.” He leans his head against the wall. “That didn’t make sense did it?”
I sit down on the edge of the bathtub. “No, not really. How much have you had to drink, Gabe?”
He shrugs and points to the sink. “How much is left in that bottle?”
I walk over to the sink and find a bottle of rum that is almost empty. The bottle is sticky. I dump the rest of it down the sink and toss the bottle in the trash can.
“Not much,” I tell him.
“I don’t do this.” His voice trembles. “I’m a good kid. I don’t drink. I don’t puke in random bathrooms. I’m not like my brother.”
“I know,” I whisper. “You’re still a good kid. You just got a little carried away. Stress can do that to you. We all get stressed.”
“How do you deal with it?” He asks. “You’re always so poised and graceful. You can handle everything. How do you do it?”
“I’m crazy,” I tell him. “And I’m miserable. You don’t want to be like me, Gabe. Don’t for one second think that you want to be like this. I’m a prude. I’m too good. I can’t live. I’m too scared to live.” The words spill out like vomit.
“Don’t be scared.” Gabe rubs my leg. “You don’t have any reason to be scared. Just let go. Let it all go.”
“Maybe I will,” I mumble. “Do you know who is in the bedroom?”
He shrugs. “I think it’s Samantha and Anderson.”
“Figures,” I laugh.
He starts to vomit again. Tears fill his eyes and I rub his back while he lets go of everything breaking down his system. His words become jumbled sentences of doubt and regret. When he stops to breathe, I get a towel from under the sink and wipe the sticky liquor off of my chest and arms. I stay there with him for nearly an hour before someone barges into the bedroom and busts open the bathroom door.
It is Brian. Panic rests all over his sweaty face. His lip is cut open and drops of blood seep into his shirt.
“Get out of here,” he tells me. “And take the geek with you.”
“Brian, what happened to you?” I stand up. “What’s going on?”
“The cops are on their way.”