September 25: Samantha

Samantha



The morning sun streams in on my bed. I crawl farther under the covers to hide my eyes. My alarm clock beeped ten minutes ago.
“Sammy, sweetheart.” A hand ruffles my hair. “You’ve got to get up for school.”
My mom lifts the covers off of me. I turn over and see her smiling so hard her face has to hurt. She is already dressed, looking perfect as usual.
“Get up,” she repeats.
“I’m up.”
She puts her hands on her hips. I sit up slowly and run my fingers through my hair. It is blonde, the color of sand. Just like hers. She smoothes her own hair, curled perfectly at her shoulders.
“I’m getting up, I promise.” I throw my feet over the side.
“Alright.” She sighs. “Breakfast is in half an hour.” She walks to the door and turns around again. “Put your smile on.”
I force my mouth to curl up at the sides. She smiles back at me and leaves, closing the door softly behind her. My smile disappears and I lay back down. I hate when she says that.
My phone vibrates on the nightstand. I check it: four text messages from my girls and one from Anderson. They are all excited for the first day of school. I can barely force myself out of bed.
I lay there for another ten minutes and then get up to take a shower. I wash my hair and condition it twice, like my mom always taught me. I put my makeup on quickly. My mom was a pageant queen, so she always wears too much makeup. I don’t like to wear a lot, but she keeps buying it for me anyway. I straighten my hair quickly and hurry to get dressed.
Mom helped me pick the outfit out. Faded new jeans and a pale pink polo. I put on the pearl earrings I got for my sixteenth birthday and my new Sperry shoes. I look at myself in the long mirror by the window. The jeans look great, the shirt is nice. My hair is perfect, my makeup is flawless. I look like a princess, a pageant girl.
I want to punch the mirror.
“Samantha,” my mom calls. I unclench my fists.
I pick up my new Vera Bradley bags and head downstairs. She is in the kitchen with my dad. He is at the breakfast table reading the newspaper. She is putting our breakfast on plates. Her apron is starch white without a single wrinkle. A perfect housewife.
“Good morning, Daddy.” I sit down across from my dad.
“Good morning, Princess.” He sips his orange juice and looks up from the paper. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” I smile.
Mom puts our plates in front of us. He has French toast with whipped cream and strawberries. I have scrambled egg whites and grapes. And wheat toast with no butter.
“What is this?”
“It’s a nice healthy breakfast.” Mom hangs her apron up and takes a sip of her coffee. “It’ll keep you going until lunch.”
“I’d rather have French toast,” I mumble.
“And I’d rather you fit into that cheerleading uniform we just paid for.” She smiles sarcastically. “Your metabolism isn’t what it used to be, Samantha. Remember that.”
We are all silent for a second.
“So.” My dad finally breaks the silence. “Are you ready for senior year?”
“Yeah,” I say and take a bite of the egg whites. They need salt. “I’m ready for the games to start.”
“I’m sure you are.” He nods and puts the newspaper down.
“Are you going to try to make it to a game this year, Daddy?” I raise my eyebrows.
He looks at his watch, not me. “I’m certainly going to try.” He stands up. “I’ve got to head to the office. I’ll see you ladies tonight.”
“What time will you be home?” Mom asks.
“I’m not sure.” Dad kisses her cheek quickly and then bends down to kiss my forehead. “Have a great day at school.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
He leaves. Mom picks up his dishes. He ate one bite of the French toast. She throws the rest away. I force the dry toast down my throat and wash it down with orange juice. I eat all of the grapes. She scrubs the counters. I reach under the table and feed pieces of egg whites to my dog, Boots. I put my dishes in the sink. She rinses them and puts them in the dishwasher. She keeps scrubbing the counters. I get my bags and my keys and leave.
We don’t say goodbye.
I start my car from the front porch. It has an automatic starter button. I don’t know why; my dad thought it would be helpful. It is a blue BMW convertible. I always thought it was the color of the sky on a perfect, cloudless day. It was my senior gift; I was perfectly happy with my old car.
Across the street, I see Audrey Oliver getting in the car with her mother. I know they won’t buy her a car until graduation. I offered to give her my old one, but they refused. I wonder if she even knows.
Ruby St. Clair, my neighbor has already left. Of course she has; the president has to get to school early. I think that girl is Wonder Woman in disguise.
I get in the car and call my best friend, Lena. She picks up on the second ring.
“What’s up?” She asks. Her voice is deep and always harsh, even when she is happy.
“I’m pulling out now.”
“Me too,” she says.
“See you in a few minutes. Love you.” I don’t wait for her to respond; I just hang up the phone and put my sunglasses on.
I drive pretty fast to school. These streets are second nature to me. I pass through my Suburban dreamland and whiz through town. I pass through little Puerto Rico on West Division Street, even though my parents tell me not to. I know it’s dangerous. All of life is a danger zone.
I pull into Five Points and find a spot up front. A lot of people are already here, excited for the start of a new year. I should be just as excited as them. I am royalty here. I am the captain of the cheerleading squad, I am dating the hottest boy in school, my parents are rich, my teachers love me, and I have a ton of friends. People envy me without knowing me. To them, I am beautiful and perfect. But they only see the outside. My mom was a pageant queen; I know how to put on a smile. None of them really know me.
Anderson is waiting for me at his truck. He gets a reserved spot because he is the football captain. He is like a king here.
“Took you long enough,” he says with a smile when he sees me.
“Sorry.” I smile back.
“You look beautiful.” He looks me up and down. I am glad he approves, because if he didn’t, he would tell me.
“Thanks.” I put my arm around his waist and we start towards the front doors. “You look good, too.”
“Is everything okay?”
Sometimes, Anderson notices. I hate when he notices because I have to make up an excuse and insist that I am okay.
I nod and smile. “Yep. I’m just little nervous for the first day, that’s all.”
“Don’t be.” He puts his arm around me. “This is our year, babe. We are going to rule the school.”
He opens the front doors and I suck in a breath. When we walk through the front lobby, people look at us like we are the king and queen on a giant float in the middle of a parade. They all stop and stare at us. Everyone turns their heads as we pass through.
At the back of the lobby, the blacks and the Hispanics stop what they are doing for a few seconds to stare at us. Most of them hate us. We hate most of them, too. We walk through the double doors and into a sea of our peers. Most of our friends are here. They all turn and see us and start to cheer loudly.
“It’s about time you guys got here,” say James, Anderson’s best friend.
“Blame it on her.” Anderson points to me. “You know chicks always take forever to get ready.”
“Sam!” I hear several voices behind me. I turn around and see my girls.
We’ve all been friends since we were little. We grew up together, did pageants together when we were smaller. We’ve been cheering together since elementary school. People who don’t know us call us ‘clones,’ or ‘robots.’ But we are actually all very different.
Jade’s hair is long and straight. It is blonde, but almost brown, like cashews. She is the quiet one. Her eyes are the color of kiwi, and her blue v-neck shirt shows them off well. She’s never had a boyfriend. No boy is good enough for her, although all of them have tried. She goes to church every Sunday with her family. People think she is a slut, like they think the rest of us are. I’m the only one who knows she’s still a virgin.
Ivy is the flirt. She is gorgeous. Her hair is blonde, too. It goes all the way down her back and looks perfect every day. She can do anything to it and it looks amazing. It is the color of sunshine. She literally glows no matter where she is. She is short, with big boobs and harsh blue eyes. She wears a lot of makeup, but she still looks beautiful. She’s been with the most guys out of all of us. She is wearing a short yellow skirt and a tight white v-neck. It shows off her curves perfectly. I know all of the boys are watching her.
Reece has short blonde hair. She is as skinny as a rail and she knows it. She has a lot of money; her dad is the sheriff and her mom was born with money. She makes sure everyone knows it, too. Her hair is so blonde that it’s almost white. A lot of our friends call her ‘Platinum,’ for more reasons than one. She fulfills every dumb blonde stereotype. I think I actually hate her. I could have her out of this group in a second. But I bite my tongue and smile at her.
Lena is my best friend. She is the only one who isn’t blonde. Her hair is dark like coffee. It’s wavy and hangs just past her shoulders. Her eyes are just as dark. She looks nothing like any of us. She is the meanest person I have ever met. She bullies the underclassmen, cheats on all of her boyfriends, and starts rumors. I don’t know why I still hang out with her, or if she really is my best friend. Our mothers are best friends, so we were expected to be at birth. Lena is a good person when she wants to be; I just don’t think she ever really wants to be.
“Hey girls,” I say to them with a smile. We all hug.
“It’s so good to see you!” Lena hugs me tightly for a few seconds longer than everyone else. She’s been in Milan all summer with her grandparents.
“You too,” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can.
They all start chattering away so fast that I can barely understand what they are saying. All of our friends crowd around and talk to me. They are all starved for my attention; I haven’t seen many of them all summer. We’ve all been gone on family vacations around the world and spending our time by the pool at the country club.
After a few minutes of the generic “how was your summer,” Ivy grabs my hands.
“I’m planning a girls’ night Friday.” Her eyes sparkle. She loves planning things. “Girly drinks, chick flicks, nail polish, ice cream and Cosmo. Don’t make any plans.”
“We’re going to bring in senior year the right way,” Reece says.
I nod my head and smile. “Sounds good to me.”
“Hey Sam,” someone says beside me. It is Ruby, the student body president. She looks beautiful, as always. But I can see that she’s nervous being around all of us. “I think Anderson was waiting outside for you.”
“Yeah, I know.” I smile. “We walked in together, but he disappeared with the boys. I’ll find him later.” I touch her arm. "I hope you have a great day!”
“You too.” She smiles. Her teeth are perfect. She walks away. Everyone thinks I’m perfect. But Ruby is the perfect one.
I feel an arm around my shoulders and Anderson’s smell takes over. I know he is next to me without having to look up at him. I smile genuinely this time.
“You okay?” He whispers in my ear.
I just nod and draw myself closer into him.
He kisses my cheek and doesn’t say anything else. We stand there like that until the bell rings: the king and queen, in the center of their court. The cheerleading captain and the football star. We are perfect.
So they think.
“Are you sure everything is okay?” Anderson still has his arm around me while we walk to homeroom.
“I’m fine,” I assure him. “Just first day jitters, that’s all.” I smile to reinforce my fineness.
Anderson can see right through me. He is the only one who knows me. Because we are the same person. We are loved by everyone, feared by everyone. People would kill to be in our shoes. We have the world in our hands. But each of us would give it up in a second for just a moment of normality. He gets me. He is mine. He is the one. I’m almost sure of it.
He kisses my forehead and we stop outside of my classroom. “Okay, Doll.” I love when he calls me Doll. “I’ll see you after homeroom.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He kisses me and starts down the hallway, his friends calling after him.
I don’t know many people in my homeroom, even though I’ve had homeroom with them for four years. I don’t know many people in this school outside of my group. Five Points is all about cliques. We all know our place, and we stay there. I recognize Crash, who works for my dad’s landscaping business. He is talking about something and the kids around him are laughing. He’s the funny guy I guess.
Nobody has changed much. A few people have haircuts or have grown a few inches, but overall, everyone looks exactly the same as they did freshman year. People don’t change much here.
Mr. Burns stands in front of the class and reads off the roster. He reads down the list of familiar names.
“Winston Law,” he says in his stern monotone.
“Come on, Mister Burns.” Crash throws his hands up. “You know it’s Crash.”
Mr. Burns rolls his eyes while the class cracks up. He hands Crash his schedule and continues down the roster.
I’m at the end of the list, like always. I am ready to get my schedule and see if I have any classes with my friends.
The morning announcements start on the television, but Mr. Burns keeps calling out the names. Ruby is on the screen giving us the announcements. I can tell she’s nervous.
“Samantha West.” Mr. Burns finally calls my name, but I don’t have to raise my hand. He knows who I am and hands me my schedule card. He winks and smiles; I turn the other way.
My schedule is just the way I wanted it. I have AP Biology first period, English second period, Psychology third period, and Pottery fourth period. This semester is going to be easy.
“Thank you Boomers, and have a great first day.” Ruby smiles at the screen before it cuts out.
The bell rings a few seconds later and I wait outside of my classroom for Anderson. I see his head towering over the other people in the hallway. He is so tall.
He grabs my hand and we start down the hall towards our lobby. “English second period?” he asks.
“Fossett?” I raise my eyebrows.
He nods and smiles.
“Yes!” I hug him in the middle of the hall. Everyone looks at us; some of them coo, and others clap. I don’t pay attention.
“I also have US history, chemistry, and weight training.” He puts his arm back around me and we walk into the lobby where our friends are.
“Do you have C lunch?”
“Of course.”
I am happy with our schedules. One class and lunch together is just enough. I don’t get to see him too much during football season. We are both always at practice and we have so much going on all the time.
He goes to the boys and I go to my girls. We all get out our cards and compare schedules. We all have the same lunch and I have pottery with Jade and Ivy. None of them would ever take AP Biology.
“I’m pissed that we don’t have any classes together.” Lena sighs.
“Me too,” I agree. “But we’ll see each other all the time at practice and stuff. It’ll be okay; this is our year.”
We hug and the other girls join in. The bell rings and we all head in our respective directions. Anderson grabs my hand and we walk together.
“Do you guys start practice today?” He asks.
“No, we don’t start until tomorrow.” I shake my head. “I am going to the soup kitchen today.”
“Why,” he huffs. “You know I don’t like you going over there. It’s not safe on that side of town.”
“I know.” I roll my eyes. “But it looks good on my college applications, and I like doing it.”
“I just don’t think you should be going there alone.” Anderson shakes his head.
“Well, come with me then.”
“You know I can’t. I have practice.”
“I know.” I nod. We stop outside of my classroom and he kisses my cheek.
“Have fun in class. I’ll see you in English.” He rubs my hair.
“Bye,” I say and go into the classroom.
Mrs. Buchanan is a great teacher. I love biology because of her and I am really excited about taking AP this semester She‘s the one who helped me decided on veterinary studies in college. She is sitting on her desk eating trail mix as we all file in. When the second bell rings, she jumps off the desk and brushes her hands off.
“Hey everyone,” she says in her cheery voice. She’s in her mid-fifties, but doesn’t really look it.
I know a few people in the class, but none of them are really my friends.
I sit down next to Carson, my lab partner from last year. He smiles and pushes his glasses against his face.
“Hey Sam,” he says with a big smile.
I smile back. “Hey Carson. How was your summer? “
“Pretty good. How was yours?”
Before I can answer him, Mrs. Buchanan stands at the front of the class and claps her hands loudly. We all stop talking and focus on the crazy teacher in front of us.
“Okay people, let’s get started.” I can hear the excitement in her voice. It gets me excited too. “I’m assuming you are all here because you took biology, you loved biology, and you love me. Therefore, you want to explore biology further and you need an easy ‘A’.” She looks at us over her glasses. “Am I right?”
A few people laugh, some of them nod. She nods back and smiles. “ I thought so. Well, I’m delighted to see so many familiar faces. I hope this course will be just as fun for you as it is for me. If you try your hardest, I promise I will get you ready for the AP test in May.”
She goes on about the class, what we will be learning, and what she expects of us. She explains that most of our projects will be done with partners. I see Carson look at me out of the corner of my eye. I’ll partner with him. I know he’ll work hard and if things get too busy, I can count on him to get the project done without me.
“Your first project of the semester starts today.” She pulls a camera out of her desk. “Every day for the next four months or so, I want you to take a picture of something in nature. It can be anything, as long as it inspires you. Don’t just go outside and take pictures of a tree every day.”
We all laugh.
“I want you to take this seriously. Just walking around every day, I find something in nature that inspires me. I want you all to feel that inspiration. We are going to be discussing things in nature for the better part of the semester. So, get inspired. That is your assignment. At the end of the semester, I want you to turn the pictures into me in whatever way you see fit.”
“Can we make a collage?” Asks a girl a few seats away from me.
“Sure.” Mrs. Buchanan nods. “There are no limits to how you present your pictures. I just need to see that you were somehow inspired by the beauty that is all around you.”
She goes on, explaining some of the other projects we will be working on, and what she expects from us. The bell rings a few minutes later and we all clear out.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Carson says once we are out of the classroom.
“Sure thing.” I smile at him. I know that he likes me. But he knows that I have Anderson, and I know he would never overstep the boundaries.
I stop in our bathroom to see the girls and check my makeup. They are all chattering about their first periods when I get there.
“But, I know he’ll give me an A.” Ivy is saying as she applies a fresh coat of mascara. “He was staring at my boobs the entire class.”
“Of course he was,” Lena sneers. “I can practically see your nipples, they are so far out.”
Ivy tugs at her shirt and pulls it up.
“Hey ladies,” I say, fighting back the urge to smack Lena.
Ivy looks at me, relieved. “Hey, Sammy. How was your first class?”
“Good.”I shrug and pull out my makeup bag. We all put on fresh coats of makeup and gossip about our first periods.
“Did you guys see Ruby on the announcements?” Lena rolls her eyes. “She thinks she is so perfect because she’s president. I’d like to kick her off her high horse.”
“She’s not that bad,” I say in Ruby’s defense. “She did a good job on the announcements, considering it was her first day.”
“Whatever, she’s not as perfect as you think she is. She could use a slim fast.”
Reece laughs with her. My face gets hot. I stuff my lip gloss into the bag and hurry out of the bathroom. Ivy and Jade are hurrying beside me a few seconds later.
“What’s wrong?” Jade asks.
“Nothing,” I say. “I just need to get to English.”
“Are you sure?” Ivy puts her hand on my arm. “What was that about in the bathroom?”
“It’s nothing,” I assure them. “Anderson is waiting for me. I’ll see you guys at lunch.”
I walk ahead of them and leave them standing there, waiting for Lena and Reece. When I get to my English classroom, Anderson is waiting for me. He looks so good with his bag slung over his shoulder, his new jeans, and his tight gray v-neck. I’m so happy to call him mine.
“Hey, Doll.” He kisses my cheek.
“Sorry it took me so long.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He takes my hand and we walk into the classroom.
All eyes are on us as we do so. I thought I would be used to it by now. At first, it felt great. Sophomore year, once we were dubbed the cutest couple on campus, the king and queen of the school, I loved the attention. It felt good to know that everyone envied me, that everyone wanted to be me. That’s everyone’s goal in high school.
But not mine. Not anymore. Now the eyes that follow me burn my skin all over. I wish they would look away, look at themselves. I wish they would realize that my world is not all diamonds and rainbows. I am perfect in their eyes. If they only knew.
Anderson likes to sit in the back of the classroom, but I like to sit near the front. We find two seats in the middle, in the very center of the classroom. Everyone’s chatter stops for a second, but once we sit down, they commence.
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, let’s get started.” Mr. Fossett says from the front of the room. “Welcome to Senior English, better known as your worst nightmare.”
A few students laugh. But I know he’s not joking. Mr. Fossett is a Marine. He’s the strictest, hardest teacher at Five Points. I had him for junior English and somehow passed with an A. I know that Anderson is going to need help getting through this class; he already looks nervous.
“This semester, we’re going to cover both American and British literature. You’ll also need to start thinking about the project that you’ve all been waiting for: senior project.”
Everyone groans.
“Yes, I know.” Mr. Fossett rubs his mustache. “But, I have full confidence that all of you will be very well prepared for your senior project if you pay attention and do your work.”
He slams his hand down on the podium in front of him and starts to read off the roster.
“Anderson Stone,” he says with a firm voice.
Anderson raises his hand. “Right here.”
“Stone,” Mr. Fossett says again. “The star quarterback, am I right?”
“Yes sir,” Anderson says with pride.
“Interesting.” Mr. Fossett runs his fingers over his long gray mustache. “I hope you don’t think that football practice or a broken fibula is any excuse for not turning in a response on Heart of Darkness.”
Anderson doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. My face gets hot.
“Uh, no Sir.” He finally speaks.
“Very well then.” Mr. Fossett nods once and continues down the roll sheet.
“Samantha West,” he says my name and looks around the room for me.
“Here.” I hold up my hand and smile.
“Ah, good to see you again, Miss West.”
“You too.” I nod.
He looks back at Anderson, but speaks to me. “Don’t let this boyfriend of yours keep you from doing what needs to be done this semester, alright Miss West?”
“Of course not.” I chuckle with him and flash Anderson a smile. He doesn’t smile back.
Mr. Fossett jumps right into our first reading assignment. “The first novel you will be reading in this class is Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. It’s not an easy read, but you all aren’t juniors anymore. I expect only the best from you.”
He looks right at Anderson. I’m starting to think that begging Anderson to take this class with me instead of the easy Senior English with all of his friends was a bad idea.
“Before you leave class today, be sure to grab a copy of the novel from the back corner.” Mr. Fossett points to the back. “I want you to read the first two chapters for class tomorrow. Now, let’s start talking about your senior projects.”
Everyone groans. I can see in their faces that they have already started to tune him out. It seems like it takes forever for the bell to ring. When it does, Anderson grabs books for us and I follow him out into the hallway.
“Well, that should be an interesting class,” I say with as much enthusiasm as possible.
“Yeah, right.” Anderson rolls his eyes. “The guy hates me.”
“He hates all jocks,” I assure him.
“Don’t call me that.” Anderson takes his arm from around my shoulders.
“I’m sorry.” I grab his hand. “Don’t be mad at me. We can do the assignments together.”
“Like I’m going to have time.” He rolls his eyes.
“Come on,” I push. “Think about it. Late night study parties at my place. And the faster we get done with our work, the faster we can…” I don’t finish. But I know he gets the idea because his face breaks into a smile.
“Alright, my little cheerleader.” He puts his arm back around me. “I’ve gotta get to chemistry. I’ll see you at lunch.”
He kisses me on the forehead and is down the hall before I can say goodbye.
I walk to psychology alone, but every three seconds, someone greets me. I smile and wave to them, answer the generic ’how was your summer’ questions, and am relieved when I get to my classroom.
I am one of the last people to get to class, so I’m forced to sit in the back. I open my notebook, excited for this class. I know it is going to be a good one. Once again, I recognize several of the people in my class, but none of them are my friends.
“Alright, settle down.” My teacher, whom I’ve never seen before stands up in front of us.
“I’m sure many of you were expecting Misses Parker.” His voice is soft. He is young. “As you can see, I am not her. My name is Conner Reid. I’m new here at Five Points, so I hope you’ll all help me feel welcome.”
A few people laugh. A guy in the front row raises his hand. “How old are you?”
Mr. Reid chuckles. “I knew someone was going to ask that. I am twenty-four years old. I have been out of college for about four months. So no, I’m not too much older than most of you. But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
He adjusts his glasses. I have to admit -as guilty as it makes me feel- that he is hot. He’s wearing a long-sleeved gray shirt with a blue sweater vest over top ot it. His khaki pants are ironed and his shoes look brand new. His hair is dark and curls just a little bit on the sides. He wears thick-rimmed, square black glasses.
“I want this class to be as much fun as possible. I know most of you are probably taking this class as a bird course, but my goal is to show you that psychology is actually very interesting. I want you to learn something about yourselves by the end of the semester. Fair enough?”
Everyone nods. “Okay,” he says. “Let’s get the attendance out of the way. I‘ll try to learn your names as quickly as possible.” He reads down the roster, and as always, I am the last to be called.
“Samantha West,” he says and looks around the room.
I raise my hand. “Right here.”
He looks at me, smiles, and puts the roster away. I don’t know what I was expecting him to do. I’m used to more of reaction when guys see me for the first time. Then again, Mr. Reid isn’t a fourteen-year old freshman with acne and a drooling problem.
“Okay, let’s get started. First, I want to talk about-” He is interrupted by the door swinging open.
In walks Riley Sutton in all of his leather and chains glory. He stands in the doorway for a second, posed like he is on the page of some glossy magazine.
“Oh,” Mr. Reid says, startled. “You must be…” He looks over the roster sheet.
“Sutton,” Riley says in his deep voice. “Riley Sutton.”
A few people chuckle; most of the girls stare with their mouths gaped open. Some of the guys roll their eyes. Riley is hot. We all know it.
“Okay, great.” Mr. Reid makes a mark on the roster. “Could you try to be on time for class tomorrow, Riley?”
“Sure thing.” Riley nods once and walks towards the back of the room.
I look down at my desk. Please don’t sit next to me. Please don’t sit next to me.
He sits down right beside me. A sigh escapes my lips.
Mr. Reid continues as Riley laughs softly.
“Looking good, West,” he whispers to me.
“You smell like cigarettes,” I whisper back.
“Come on. Don’t tell me you don’t need a smoke break to keep yourself sane in this place.” He smiles. I wish his teeth weren’t so perfect. And his lips. And his eyes, that droop down like some sort of cute puppy. But Riley is not a cute puppy. He is a pit bull.
“I’m doing just fine in this place, thank you.” I stare straight ahead. “Maybe if you’d come to class, you would be doing fine too.”
“I’m here aren’t I?” He shrugs, still looking at me.
“For now. We’ll see how long that lasts.”
“I’ll be here every day,” he says. “I’ve got something to look forward to now.”
His voice makes my skin sizzle and my stomach crawl at the same time. Rule number one of Five Points High School: Riley Sutton is bad. Riley Sutton is the enemy. If Anderson ever saw me talking to him, he’d blow up.
Riley must be reading my thoughts. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell Anderson that you talked to me. It’ll be our little secret.”
“Shut up,” I say softly. I force myself to ignore Riley and focus on Mr. Reid. It’s not as hard as it may seem, because Mr. Reid gets more and more beautiful the more I stare at him.
The bell rings and I get up quickly. Riley gets up too, and follows right behind me out of the classroom.
“Stop it, Riley,” I say without looking back.
“What am I doing?”
“Just leave me alone.” I turn to him now. “And tomorrow, don’t sit beside me.”
“Why are you talking to her?” I hear a female voice behind me. The one voice I despise the most.
I turn around, and my suspicions are confirmed. Evelyn.
“We weren’t talking.” I put my hand on my hip. “I’m leaving now.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” Evelyn stares hard at me.
Almost a year ago, Anderson cheated on me with the school slut. He claims he was drunk and made the hugest mistake of his life. I still don’t completely trust him. It took everything in me to forgive him. But now, the mere sight of Evelyn Rhodes makes me sick.
I want nothing more than to rip her eyes out in this moment. I want to claw at her throat and make her hurt. But I don’t.
“You can have him.” I point to Riley. “I have a boyfriend. You know, the one who you thought you could steal from me by sleeping with him when he was drunk.”
“He wasn’t that drunk.” Evelyn insists. “And besides,” she says and gets right in my face. “Drunk or not, he knows I was better than you’ll ever be.”
“Ladies,” Riley pulls on Evelyn’s arm and she backs away from me.
Before the tears start to form, I turn away from them. I let out slow breaths and try to get my face cooled down.
Anderson is waiting for me by his locker with James, a few boys from the team, and Ivy.
“Here she is,” James says when he sees me.
“Sorry,” I say with a smile.
“Let’s go,” says Nick. He’s a tight end, one of our friends since freshman year.
Anderson grabs my hand and we all head towards the cafeteria. I push a smile onto my face to hide my anger from what just happened with Evelyn. Anderson squeezes my hand, but I just want to pull away from him. Sometimes it’s hard to look at him, knowing what he did. It makes me question our whole relationship. I try not to let it bother me.
“Here we go,” he says once we’re outside of the cafetria. The double doors are open and we walk through them.
All of our friends are sitting in our section already. We head over there, and they all get excited.
“Took you long enough,” says Reece.
Anderson and I sit down in the middle of our table. Ivy and Jade sit on my right side, Lena, Reece, and our friend Maya sit across from me. Anderson’s boys sit on his side of the table: James, Nick, Tommie, and Ethan. The rest of our friends crowd around us at the surrounding tables. Conversations range from football to the new issue of Cosmo to the ball at the country club in a few weeks.
“I can’t eat anymore,” Maya says. I can see that she’s only eaten a few carrot sticks.
Reece isn’t eating anything. Ivy and Jade are stuffing their faces. I pick at the humus and crackers my mom packed for me. I want a bite of Anderson’s cheeseburger, but I know I shouldn’t. I sneak one of his fries while he’s going over one of their new plays.
“I think David wants to take things to the next level,” Ivy says through bites of her tuna sandwich.
“What?” Reece raises an eyebrow. “I thought he was just a summer fling?”
“He was,” Ivy assures her. “But he’s really cute. And he’s so nice, you guys.”
“I say go for it.” I nod. “He seems like a good guy.”
“I say cut him loose.” Maya shakes her head. “Guys are douche bags. He’s not going to do anything but screw you up.”
“Someone’s still bitter over their breakup.” Reece rolls her eyes in Maya’s direction.
“I’m just saying.” Maya shrugs.
“She’s just saying,” Jade interrupts. “Do whatever makes you happy. David is cute. If you think he’ll be a good boyfriend, go for it.”
“Lord knows you need to be tied down anyway,” Lena says sarcastically.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Ivy sounds surprised at Lena’s bitchiness.
“Nothing.” Lena shrugs it off. “I’m just saying, you’re getting towards Evelyn Rhodes status.”
The sound of her name makes me cringe. Ivy cringes too.
“Don’t ever compare me to that slut.” Ivy throws her sandwich down.
I put my hand on Anderson’s leg and turn to his friends. I ignore the girls and their bad attitudes and focus on what Anderson is saying about some new song.
Everyone around me is loud and plastic. They are all fake. I nod with them, laugh with them, smile with them. I force myself to appear to be one of them. But if you look past my perfect pageant smile, you’ll see that it’s all just an act.
A few minutes before the lunch period ends, Lena grabs her purse. “Let’s go to the bathroom.” We always go to the bathroom at the end of lunch to freshen up.
I hesitate for a second, but follow them to the bathroom.
“I’m sorry for calling you Evelyn.” Lena turns to Ivy. “Nobody is as bad as her, right Sammy?”
“Definitely not,” I mumble.
“I hear she’s with Riley Sutton now,” Maya says.
“Oh God, they deserve each other.” Reece laughs, and the rest of them do too. I force a chuckle.
We walk into our bathroom, where Audrey Oliver is standing at the sink. She’s one of Lena’s favorite targets.
“What are you doing in here, Brainiac?” Lena puts her hands on her hips.
Audrey dries her hands really fast and blinks. “I just needed to use the bathroom.”
“This is our bathroom,” says Jade.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t think anyone would be in here.” Audrey starts towards the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Lena shoves her hard.
“The bell’s about ring.” Audrey looks at the floor.
Lena puts her hands back on Audrey‘s chest. “Did your boobs grow over the summer, Brainiac? Or did you just start stuffing?”
“I think she stuffs.” Reece laughs her annoying laugh.
Audrey pulls her cardigan tightly over her chest. I should say something; I’ve known Audrey since we were little.
“Don’t try to hide them.” Lena pulls on her arms. “Maybe if you show them off you’ll get some action and you won’t be such a prude.”
“Nah, she’ll still be a prude.” Ivy shakes her head. “Nothing will change that.”
“Let’s give her some shots and some lip gloss.” Maya pulls out her makeup bag.
“Would you like that, Bloody Mary?” Lena pulls on Audrey’s hair. She gave her the nickname Bloody Mary back in fourth grade, because Audrey’s hair is dark red, like blood.
“I just want to go to class.” Audrey tries to push past her.
Lena pushes her again. “You’re in my territory now, Brainiac. I decide when you leave. You know the rules.”
I pull out my Blackberry nervously. “You guys, the bell’s about to ring and we still need to freshen up. Let’s let her slide this time.”
“Are you serious?” Lena turns to me.
“We’ll get a freshman after school,” I shrug. “Come on.” I make the first move to the mirror and start applying fresh makeup.
“You’re lucky.” Lena points at Audrey. “Stay out of my bathroom.”
Audrey hurries out of the bathroom.
“I can’t believe you let her go like that,” Lena stands at the sink beside of me. “You’re getting soft.”
“Not soft,” I finish putting on my lipgloss. “Just sick of the same old shit. We’re seniors this year. Let’s start acting like it.”
I don’t wait for them to finish. The bell rings and I’m already out of the bathroom heading towards the arts building.
I’m one of the first people in my pottery class. Jade and Ivy get there shortly after me. They take a seat on the stools on either side of me.
“What was that all about?” Ivy looks at me.
“Nothing,” I insist. “Just Lena being Lena. I didn’t mean to snap on her.”
“It’s okay.” Jade sighs. “She kind of deserves it sometimes.”
“Yeah,” Ivy agrees.
The class fills up and soon our teacher comes in. Ms. Wright has wavy, short blonde hair, round glasses, and is tiny. Her hands are still dirty from her last class. I am fascinated by her already.
“Okay,” she says and claps her hands. “I want everybody to start by making a name tag for yourself.” She sets a bucket of markers on every table and hands us all a name tag. “Decorate it however you want to, and when I call the roll, stand up, put your name tag on, and tell us something about yourself. Go.”
We all start decorating. I write my name with an orange marker and draw pink flowers all around it.
A few minutes later, she begins calling out the roll.
“Ivy Adams.”
Ivy shoots up and sticks her name tag right over her left boob. “Hey, I’m Ivy.” Her smile is gorgeous. “And I love the beach.”
A few people chuckle softly. I love Ivy in all of her complete ignorance.
Ms. Wright fights back her own laughter and continues down the roll. “Jade Henson.”
Jade’s name is written plainly in green marker and she puts the tag on her stomach.
“I’m Jade.” She pauses for a few seconds. “And I can speak three languages.” Everyone waits for her to explain. “I can speak English, German, and French.”
“Oui oui,” says Ms. Wright with a chuckle.
Finally she gets to my name. “Samantha West.”
“Hey, I’m Sam.” I say once I’ve stood up. I put the name tag on my chest. “And I love helping people.”
“Sounds great,” Ms. Wright says. She stands up. “Well, it seems like we’ve got a very diverse class this semester. That means that I can expect a variety of work from you guys.”
She passes out a syllabus and goes over the rules for her class. She tells us what projects we’ll be working on, and how fun the class is going to be. Ivy taps away on her cell phone for the entire ninety minute period. Jade draws in her notebook. I watch the clock and count down the seconds.
When the bell rings, the three of us hurry out to the parking lot. Today is our only practice-free day. The girls are going to Scoops for yogurt, but I’ve got to get to the soup kitchen to start volunteering.
We all hang out by our cars for a few minutes. I don’t know where Anderson is, but I want to say goodbye to him before I leave.
“Call me tonight,” Ivy says and hugs me.
“I will,” I assure her.
A loud revving sound comes from the other side of the parking lot. Everyone turns. It’s Riley on his harley. Evelyn is on the back, holding onto his waist. They speed out of the parking lot, a trail of smoke behind them.
“God, he is such a stud.” Maya mumbles.
“You’re disgusting.” Reece rolls her eyes. “Get in the car.” She and Maya get in her car and after blowing kisses speed out of the lot.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I hug Jade and Ivy again and they get in Jade’s Jeep.
Lena is nowhere to be found, and I’m not too worried about it. Suddenly, Anderson is behind me, his hands around my waist.
“Gotcha,” he whispers.
I just laugh. “I was wondering where you were. I have to get over to the soup kitchen.”
“Yeah, I gotta get ready for practice.” He puts his hands in his pockets.
“Well, don’t get hurt.”
“You either.” He smiles, but I know he’s being serious.
“I won’t.”
“And you’ll call me when you get home?”
“Of course,” I assure him and put my arms around his neck. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Doll.” He kisses me long and sweet before opening the door for me. “Be safe.”
I blow him another kiss before leaving the parking lot. He waves and then runs back into the school.
I head through downtown in the traffic towards the soup kitchen. I’ve been volunteering there all summer with my church and I decided to keep doing it when I can during the school year.
South Haven is always filled with people. Dinner is going to be served soon, so I am just in time to help with the preparations. It’s a Monday, which means it is meatloaf night.
I park my car in the back lot and hurry inside. The air is already getting cold. I head towards the back and into the kitchen, where Joan, the founder, and some of the other volunteers are steady at work.
“Hey guys,” I say with a smile.
The food smells great and I wash my hands so I can get stared.
“Hey Sam,” they all reply.
“How was your first day?” Joan looks up from cutting vegetables.
I shrug. “It was school. Nothing special. How many we got coming in tonight?”
“There are already forty or so lined up outside.” Mack, one of the younger volunteers turns to me. He is just a few years older than me.
“We’ll probably get a hundred or so.” Joan smiles.
I grab a few carrots and start chopping next to her. We all talk about our days. Joe tells jokes that he thinks are funny; we all laugh with him. These people have become a second family to me over the last few months. They are certainly more sane than my real one.
After about an hour in the kitchen, the food is almost ready. Mack and I go out into the dining room to set up the tables.
“So, your first day of senior year was nothing special?” He scowls at me as he puts silverware at each chair.
“Not really,” I shrug. “I mean, it’s school. I’m just ready to get it over with and get out of here.”
“I feel you,” Mack agrees. “Well, I hope things get a little more special for you.”
I push my hair behind my ears and nod. “Me too.”
“We’re going to start letting them in.” Joan comes out a few minutes later. “Everyone put on your smiles.”
I’m in charge of drinks today. I get behind the drink table and make sure there are plenty of cups filled with red juice and tea. The regulars start to pile in, single file. They are all chattering away. My heart is instantly warmed when I see their faces. My smile, for the first time today, is not a fake one.
“Hey boys,” I say to some of my favorite guys when they stop by the drink table.
“Good to see ya,” says Mike. He’s about fifty years old, but he looks older.
Once everyone has been served, I make my rounds to each table. I sit down and talk with everyone, both the old faces and the new ones. They all seem to be enjoying the meatloaf.
I grab a few plates of cherry pie and sit down with Mike and a few of his buddies.
“How was school today, young lady?” he asks and scoops up a bite of pie.
“It was great,” I lie.
“Are you ready for the football season to start?” Louis looks at me. He used to play football when he was in high school; before he dropped out. He’s been living on the streets since 1989.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Tony chuckles. He’s one of the younger regulars, in his late twenties. “Well you’re the captain, Miss Cheerleader. You better be ready.”
“Oh I am,” I assure them. “Tell me about your day, boys. How’s the life of the rich and famous?”
They all laugh.
“You’re the only one who knows about that, Sammy.” Mike pats me on the back. “But it was a good day today. We did some scrounging, played some basketball with a few kids down on Fifth street.”
“Oh really?” I ask. “Did you show them how it’s done?”
“Of course.” Louis pats his full stomach. “The old man’s still got it.”
I look at my watch. It’s almost six. “I should be getting home, boys. I’ve got homework to do.”
They all groan. “Can’t you stay just a little while longer?” Mike touches my hand. “You’re the prettiest thing we get to look at all day.”
They guys laugh.
“I wish I could,” I say genuinely. “But my boyfriend insists that I get home before dark, you know.”
“Your boyfriend’s a smart man,” says Louis. “It’s too dangerous for a girl like you to be out after dark around here.”
“You got that pepper spray I gave you last month?” Mike raises an eyebrow.
“Of course.” I nod. “It’s in my car. Now give me a hug.”
They all stand up and I hug each of them.
“Take care of yourself, young lady. Make us proud out there on the field.” Tony squeezes me.
“And in the classroom,” Louis stresses.
“I got it,” I insist. “I’ll see you boys in a week or so. Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”
“No promises.” Mike chuckles.
I say goodbye to the staff and head out to my car. I pull out my phone and text Anderson to let him know that I’m heading home. He probably isn’t out of practice yet, but he likes for me to text him anyway.
I get in the car and pull my pepper spray out of my purse, just to be safe. I turn up the radio and pull slowly out of the parking lot. I take the long way, because I know I’m less likely to run into trouble on the side streets.
I’m approaching Yang’s Minimart and the Laundromat when I see Brian Phillips and his stoner friends. He’s talking to some guy that I’ve never before. I slow the car down just as Brian starts to walk away with his crew. The kid doesn’t move. I stop the car next to him and roll down the window.
Anderson would kill me if he knew I was doing this.
“Do you need a ride?” I look up at him through the open window.
He looks at me for a second. He looks like he‘s only fourteen or so.“Uh, no thanks, I’m good.”
“Are you sure?” I flash a smile. “It’s kind of cold out there.”
He thinks about it for a few seconds, then shrugs.“Okay.” He opens the door and slides in.
Once he‘s situated, I smile again.“Hey,I’m Samantha.”
“Hey, Samantha.” He finally smiles. “I’m Alex.”
“Nice to meet you, Alex.” I pull back into the lane and turn down the radio. “Where am I headed?”
“Uh, right on Callahan.”He starts to fidget a little. He’s new here, I can tell.
“So you’re not from around here, are you?”
“How can you tell?” He looks at me.
“Because nobody walks around alone out here unless they are from out of town.”
“You’re alone.”
“Touché.” I giggle. “I volunteer sometimes at the soup kitchen a few blocks away.”
“That sounds fun,” His voice is sarcastic.
“It is,” I insist. “I love it. I get to meet lots of cool people.”
He doesn’t say anything. So I continue.
“It’s just fun to help people.”
“Yeah,” he says
“So where are you from?”I look at him for a second.
“Virginia,” he says. I can tell he‘s answered that one a lot today.“Take a left up here.” He points.
“What brings you all the way to Chicago?” I try to keep the conversation going.
“My dad met this woman online. I guess they fell in love, so he found a job up here and we moved.”I can tell he isn’t very excited about it.
“You don’t sound too happy about it.”
“I’m not.”
“Oh,” I mumble.
“I’m sorry.” He looks at me. “I’ve just had a really bad day. I shouldn’t be taking it out on the girl who gave me a ride.”
“It’s cool.” I smile. “I understand. You’re a freshman?”
“Yeah.” He nods.
“That’s cool. I’m a senior this year. I’m guessing you go to Five Points?”
“Unfortunately.” He sighs.
I feel his pain.“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as you think.” I try to reassure him and pat his leg. He twitches a little. “You’ll make friends in no time.”
He shrugs. “I hope. I’m thinking about going out for the football team.”
“Oh really? My boyfriend, Anderson, he’s the captain this year.”
His shoulders kind of slump a little.“That’s cool,”
“Yeah, he’s great.” I turn to him. “But don’t be upset if you don’t make it. Freshmen usually don’t.”
“I heard.”
“If you play tennis, we’re always looking for new players on the tennis team.”
“Really?”
“Yeah!” I smile again; he probably thinks I’m way too happy. “I’ve been playing since I was little at my parents’ country club. It’s fun.”
“I used to play at our club back home,” He says.
“Awesome. You should definitely come out then. We need more guys.”
“Maybe I will.” He nods. “This is me up on the right.” He points to a small house, one that I recognize.
“Are you sure?” I scowl.
“Yeah.”
I‘m pretty sure this is Evelyn‘s house that I am stopped outside of.“Isn’t this where Evelyn Rhodes lives?”
“Yeah.” He seems surprised that I know that.“She’s my dad’s girlfriend’s daughter.”
“Oh...” I pick at my thumbnail. “That’s cool.”
“Not really.” He shakes his head, which makes me smile. “Thanks for the ride, Samantha.”
“No problem, Alex.” I look up at him as he opens the door.“I’ll see you at school. Don’t forget what I said about the tennis team.”
“I won’t,” He starts to close the door, but stops. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive these streets alone? It’s getting pretty dark.”
I laugh and roll my eyes.“Please.“I’ve driven these streets a million times. This is my city. Besides.” I point to my bag. “I’ve got pepper spray.”
He laughs and I do too. “See you tomorrow,” he says and closes the door.
“Good night.” He heads up the sidewalk to the old, ugly house, and I drive away quickly. Thank God Evelyn didn’t see me.
When I get home, my mom is the only one home. She’s on the phone in the den. She’s talking about the ball at the country club coming up in a few weeks. I slip into the kitchen, hoping she doesn’t notice that I’m home. She’s off the phone a few seconds later and I hear her slippers scooting across the hardwood floor.
“How was your first day, love?” Her face is glowing. I don’t know why she’s so excited.
“It was great,” I lie. “Just got done at the soup kitchen. I’m starving.” I open the refrigerator.
“Of course you are.” I can’t tell if she is being sarcastic or not. “There is some left over Thai salad in there. I picked it up on my way home, but I couldn’t finish it.”
I’m tempted to take the salad she’s talking about and throw it in her face. I don’t want a salad. I want real food.
“Sounds great,” I manage. I pull the salad out of the fridge and set it on the counter. I take out a bottle of ranch dressing, too.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to ruin a twenty dollar salad with a bunch of ranch dressing?” She looks me up and down. “There is a raspberry vinaigrette in there. Use that.”
I bite my tongue a little harder and pull the vinaigrette out of the fridge. I shake the bottle and pour the thick pink sauce over the salad.
“Tell me more about school,” Mom pushes. “How are your classes?”
“I think they’re going to be easy.” I take a bite of the salad. It tastes pretty good, but I know it’s not going to fill me up. “My teachers seem nice. Mister Fossett was glad to have me back again this year.”
“That’s lovely,” she smiles. But I know she’s not really paying attention. “Have you thought about where you want to go to look for your dress for the ball?”
“Not really,” I say between bites.
“You know it’s coming up rather soon.”
“I know, Mom.”
“You and Anderson should go shopping together so you can coordinate your outfits. I think you would both look great in blue, or maybe something like your dress from the winter pageant last year--”
“Maybe.” I cut her off. “Where‘s Dad?”
“He’s working late again.” She sighs and shrugs. My dad has had his landscaping business since before I was born. He spends a lot of extra time at the office.
“Of course.” I nod. “I’m going to go do my homework.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to help me with some of the logistics of the ball? You know I’m the head of the committee again this year, and the rest of them seem too busy to help out much.”
“Maybe when I’m done with my homework.” I pick up the salad and my bag and head upstairs.
I down the rest of the salad and open up my Psychology book. I don’t really have that much homework, but Mom doesn’t know that. She’ll be happy to think that I’m doing all of my work like a good student. I hear her downstairs on the phone again. I turn on my iPod and put the headphones in my ears.
Mom comes to check on my twice while I’m doing my homework. The first time she takes my salad plate back to the kitchen. The second time, she askes me again if I want to help her with the invitations for the ball. I say no.
Anderson calls me and we talk for a few minutes. He rambles on about practice and I pretend to listen. I tell him about the soup kitchen, and I can tell he’s pretending to care on the other end.
I get off the phone with him at around midnight. My mom is in bed, and I’m pretty sure my dad still isn’t home. I change into my pajamas and go quietly downstairs. I slide on the hardwood floor in the dark, perfectly aware of my surroundings.
I open the fridge and stare at its contents. My stomach is growling. I pull out a jar of strawberry jelly. Using the light from the fridge, I find the bread and peanut butter in one of the cabinets. I quickly make two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I eat both of them in thirty seconds. I stash the food away and clean up my crumbs so that my mom doesn’t notice.
I hurry back to my room and slide into bed. I send Anderson a goodnight text and turn off the lamp. I lay there, exhausted but awake. The bathroom is calling my name. My stomach growls back in content protest. I shut my eyes and will myself to stay in the bed. I’m not purging. Not tonight. After lying awake for what seems like forever, I finally fall asleep, full of peanut butter and lies.